Letting my guard down

[McG35]

First thing I want to say is I don't want this thread to be flamed, I am pretty serious about this and I want to see if anyone can help.

Alright, since october of 2004 I have been single. My previous relationship was for 3 years and she was pregnant with my baby and we were engaged. She miscarried the baby, and I broke up with her after a downfall in our relationship. After that relationship once I cleared my head and was on my feet, I swore I would never let someone into my heart again and stay single for the rest of my life. It is to the point where I will meet someone I like (not a one night stand) and I will actually push them away and run away from the feelings rather than stick it out. I met someone last weekend that is really nice and I enjoy being around. I am starting to feel these feelings and I am already trying to push myself away. I am pretty sure this isn't healthy, but it feels like the safe way. Am I just weird or has anyone felt like this?

[00EscortZx2]

I know what you mean, not to that magnitude but to some degree. You just gotta break down the barrier you built. Take it slow, and don't fall fast for her. Just take it one day at a time and it will all work out. If it doesn't then at least you have a new friend and you've gotten past a safe house and the next time wont be so hard.

[krux]

Bro I hear you. I wont let any girl get to my heart anymore since I am afraid of getting hurt. I think its normal for people to put up a wall after something like that happens. Biggest thing I can say is take it in baby steps and dont rush. If she cares for you she will wait. Best luck to ya

[Team Havoc]

i also know how you feel, the first two post are very good, just take it nice and slow(baby steps), good luck

[Cherokee]

Don't feel like the Lone Ranger. I think everyone swears themselves to bachelorhood after their first heartbreak. Only the truly smart keep their promise. Find a girl you like, have fun, enjoy her, be good to her, just don't get married and don't put yourself in a position to get hurt.

[nike13857]

First thing I want to say is I don't want this thread to be flamed, I am pretty serious about this and I want to see if anyone can help.

Alright, since october of 2004 I have been single. My previous relationship was for 3 years and she was pregnant with my baby and we were engaged. She miscarried the baby, and I broke up with her after a downfall in our relationship. After that relationship once I cleared my head and was on my feet, I swore I would never let someone into my heart again and stay single for the rest of my life. It is to the point where I will meet someone I like (not a one night stand) and I will actually push them away and run away from the feelings rather than stick it out. I met someone last weekend that is really nice and I enjoy being around. I am starting to feel these feelings and I am already trying to push myself away. I am pretty sure this isn't healthy, but it feels like the safe way. Am I just weird or has anyone felt like this?

I'm in the exact same boat, but I've been technically single since late 04. A girl I loved, and been together on and off for about 12 years broke my heart. Now any girl I go out with, it's just another girl, nothing too serious. I got the chance about a year ago, when I was building my house. My girl at the time, was suppose to move in with me, and she ended up leaving me, a few days before the final signing of the papers. I had let my guard down....well....now it's back up, and I'm convinced I'm gonna stay a bacholer the rest of my life.

[McG35]

my guard is really strong, I am actually not talking to her anymore just because I don't want to have the possibility of doing it...

[2000zx2chik]

The question is do you really want to let her in or do you wanna stay single forever?

[krux]

I hate how us guys try to make a promise and then let our guard down lol. It sucks since we try so hard on keeping that promise yet we break down pretty easily too. Just take baby steps bro. Baby steps. Thats all you can ask for in life. I would love to meet the right girl at days, but its scary when I just talked to a good friend of mine and he said there getting a divorce..just freaks me out inside.

[zbban1]

Been there, done that, too. Have had my fill of relationships, and at 48, and female, I am done. You are younger, give it time. You'll meet someone that makes you happy.

[ZX2guy19]

If you broke up with her, why is your heart broken? I realize you loved her, but I've never understood that. If you let someone go, your heart already has, so it shouldn't be broken.

I understand though man, but you just have to keep on keepin on. Good luck man.

[Blue ZX2]

Hey, its called being a guy. I dont know what it is about us but I feel as if we are led to believe we are suppose to be the strong sex and carry the burdens of life upon our shoulders without ever complaining. Then there always comes some female that you actualy open up to, the first time you ever let this barrior down and try to let someone in. And it feels great! And everything is peachy. Untill that day (or over a period of time) that things go bad. And it always ends up as her ripping out your heart as a door prize and it SUCKS.

Your not alone, rest assured I am fairly positave every guy will or has been in this situation on this news group. And such is a part of life, I look at it as one more right of passage. I myself just got dumped from a 4 year relationship and im still trying to figure things out. All I know is my friends have been the best thing in the world. (oh and make sure your new friends are all ugly and single and will prolly remain that way untill you find a new GF, lol)

Any rate, hang in there champ, everything works out in the end.