Lost A Friend...

[JessicaOfVA]

One of my best friends died last Sunday. I didn't find out until Tuesday though, when his girlfriend called me. (I'm not the kind of person that calls my friends every day.) He was speeding on his crotch rocket and collided with a Ford Escape.

News Story (http://www.wavy.com/global/story.asp?s=8930395&ClientType=Printable)

I know he shouldn't have been speeding, but it doesn't make the loss any lesssignificant. Right now I'm having a hard time with it. I feel so much guilt because I hadn't physically seen him in a few months. Yes we have IMed, Texted, and E-Mailed. But every time we made plans to hang out, it always fell through. I wish I would have tried harder. But I always thought there was more time. That same day he got in the accident, I saw someone else on a crotch rocket driving crazy and thought of him. It just popped into my head that I hope I didn't see my friend on the news dead from an accident. I wonder if I would have called him then, if he would be alive now?

I couldn't go to the funeral, because he was buried down in NC and I had to work. I feel like I can't have closure now. I just wish I could see him one last time. I wish I could talk to him and see him one last time. That I could tell him how much he meant to me and that I will always treasure the time we had.

[Hypnose Zx2]

I'm sorry to hear about your lost.

Its not your fault that you couldn't go and he would understand that.

[OGreaTFuzzY1]

Sorry to hear that, i know how u feel i lost a bunch of friends. I could never make it to any of there funerals due to working. Thats why i go to there graves now to get my peace at least that way they know i still care.

~Fuzzy

[98escort]

It really sucks to lose a friend, back when I was in 7th grade I had a friend kill himself with a shotgun in a park. Very traumatizing for our whole neighborhood to say the least everyone liked the kid.

It is never anyones fault who was not directly involved even though they tend to blame themselves instanly. Take some time to head to the grave like fuzzy said it does help.

[jess]

Oh wow...I'm so sorry for your loss.

I don't really know what else to say....but I would definitely visit the grave....that could help give you that closure you are looking for.

It's never easy losing someone you love.....and especially someone so young, and coming as a shock.

*hugs*

[Sk00t3r]

Very sorry for the loss of your friend, I know how it feels. One of my friends was recently killed in a motorcycle accident.

http://www.uticaod.com/news/x499360490/Motorcyclist-killed-in-Newport-accident

Motorcycles can be very dangerous, even if not speeding.

[JessicaOfVA]

Thanks everyone. I do plan to go visit his grave when I get the chance. It's about a 5 1/2 hour drive from here. I just wish I could have been there.

Every time I see a red and black bike, I think it's him for a split second. I keep thinking this can't be real. I keep waiting for him to text me like he did a million times a week. I've even gone as far as imagining that it was staged and he's really alive somewhere. (The logical part of my mind knows thats not true.) I just want to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

I don't even feel like I've really grieved. It's like if I don't let it sink in completely and hold my emotions in, then it didn't happen. I have cried some, but not truely grieved. I can feel it ready to overflow, but I'm afraid to give in to it. :*(

His girlfriend Meghan is supposed to be throwing a party for him in his honor, for those of us that couldn't make it to the funeral. That's just how we are. We want everyone to celebrate the life we had. Though that's going to be so hard for me. She was also supposed to have brought me back a program from his funeral.

[Taylor-23]

I know this time is tough for you but putting your feeling in a bottle is not a healthy way of dealing with it. I know from experience. You feel better in the short run but in the long run that bottle just get too full... hang in there. Take Care of yourself.

Taylor

[JenzZx2]

*hugs* Jessica!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost one friend in high school and that was more than enough for me.

Eventually it will get better, and I think a party in his honor will be a good thing. You'll get to say goodbye in your own way and remember the good things about his life. It's okay to cry or sob, or whatever you need to do. It helps.